Why you are here now is surely no mere coincidence or a function of fate and random chance. You are brought here for a purpose and for a reason.

Welcome to my personal blog,

CONFLICTS and TRIUMPHS
Life of a Discreet Struggling Christian Homosexual


Basically, this blog is about my life as a Christian who have been struggling in the mire of homosexuality. Through this blog, I will share with you how my life has been from the past to the present. I will share with you the conflicts and triumphs I experienced-- the events, problems, and issues I have encountered along the way; the pain, the tears and the burden of having something I don't want; the loneliness and difficulty of struggling alone; the unanswered questions, uncertainties, apprehensions, the fears and worries, etc.; and the how I dealt with all of them. I will share to you my life story beginning from my eventful early childhood, to my rough teenage years, and up to the present.

Primarily, I created this blog to be an extension of my thoughts, an avenue to express my insights and feelings, a means to share my opinions and perspectives, a vent to pour out my joys and frustrations and speak out my heart, and ultimately a way for me to personally reach out to, encourage and inspire others who are in a similar situation as I am.

To date, I still am a struggling homosexual, wrestling against this overwhelming spiritual malady for years --sometimes winning but most of the times falling. I feel tired and worn. I have done terrible things. Sin has kept me slave for the most part. Many times I find myself on the verge of quitting, even to the point of hoping to die so all of this shall end. However, the abundant grace of God, the love of Jesus, and the power of the Holy spirit keeps me right on track and always gets me back up to my feet again. God never gave up on me. Inspite of my repeated wanderings, I still feel his presence surrounding me, his arms around me. His love sustains me even in my worst times. His grace compels me not to quit but keep on. Despite the appalling force of the Devil and the overwhelming weakness of my corrupted human nature, my candle is still burning with faith and hope that with continued perseverance and trust in the Almighty God, I will come out victorious. In the end, it doesn't matter how long or short you fought or how fierce the fight was, as long as you fought a good fight and emerged triumphant.

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As of the moment, the rest of this blog is still under construction. This landing page you are viewing right now is only temporary. My very hectic schedule is preventing me from devoting the needed amount of time to finally complete and launch this blog. However, with the highest amount of certainty, I assure you that this blog will be fully functional very soon. Just hang in there. :) Better yet, bookmark this site now.

In the meantime, I would like to grab this opportunity to appeal to you. I want this blog to not only contain my life story but yours as well. I highly encourage you to write down your thoughts, personal stories, pressing issues and concerns, words of encouragements, and valuable insights on things concerning the life of a homosexual Christian. Share it here and have it published in the site for others to read. The reason for this is because I strongly believe that just like you and me, there are many other Christians out there who are silently and desperately struggling with homosexuality -- ALONE. Life can be very difficult. I can attest that there can be nothing worse than having your heart in conflict with your mind, your emotions against reason, and your life against your beliefs and ideals. For a Christian, knowing that your sexuality contradicts God's design and purpose can be very difficult and distressing which is further complicated by society's expectations, prejudice and discrimination. Having said that, it is my goal that this site be of tremendous help to all especially to those who are in pain -- unknown to their family, friends, and loved ones. My testimony, your testimony, our testimonies -- can be the very instrument the Holy Spirit will use to give them strength, courage, and the willingness and power to overcome.

You can send your literary contributions to conflictsandtriumphs@yahoo.com. Remember, sharing promotes meditation, reflection, and integration on your part. So it will not only benefit your personal and spiritual life but as well as those reading it. In fact, as i am typing these words, I feel spiritually invigorated and I feel joy recalling how good and merciful God has been amidst my faults and shortcomings. I am reminded once again that He is always there especially when you need Him most.
I believe that sharing means growing and learning. The story you share can potentially bless the lives of the readers.
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Soon, everything in this world will come to an end. Only the righteous, by God's grace, shall remain. The things in this world and all it's evil corruptions shall soon forever be banished. Worldly pleasures and moral decadence shall cease. Sadness and pain will forever be forgotten. The best is yet to come to those who stay faithful to God no matter what.

As we continue our spiritual struggle, it is worthwhile to remember that having the homosexual "tendencies" and "inclinations" is NOT sinful, but giving in to them would surely lead to sinful acts. Having a homosexual feeling and "acting" on that feeling are two different things. Acknowledging and accepting that we feel different from the rest doesn't separate us from our God. It should rather help us to deal with things squarely, maturely, and in the righteous way. The more we feel the gravity of our fallen nature and the more we feel we are a sinner, the more dependent we become on God and the closer He comes to take us by the hand.

I am a homosexual. I am a sinner just like anybody else. But I know God loves me and He will never forsake me. He knows that I was born into this sin-sick world, a victim of circumstance. I did not choose the way I am nor do I rejoice in how I feel. He sees in my heart that constant desire and the conscious effort not to give in to my unnatural desires. He knows my human nature. And so He gives more grace.

God loves the worst of sinners, forgives and receives those who are penitent, and embraces everyone who comes to him. If He loves me, surely so do you.

In our personal and spiritual warfare, let us put on a good fight. Earthly pleasures are but temporal. What is at hand is eternal. So let us not grow tired and weary. After all, with Christ Jesus on our side, we are more than conquerors!

God bless you!


"True happiness only comes from knowing you are right with God; It stems from having a close relationship with Him"

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Homosexuality: The Christian Perspective (Part 2)


Q6. Why do homosexuals refer to themselves as "gay"?

The word "gay" means merry, exuberant, bright, lively. More recently it has been adopted by homosexuals. In its original use it did not have this double meaning. The clever adaptation of the word "gay" by homosexuals has robbed it of its pure meaning, thereby corrupting a once perfectly good word. I never use the word "gay" when referring to homosexuals. There are many bright, exuberant, merry people in this world who are not sexual perverts.

Q7. You made reference to First Corinthians 6:9-11. What is the meaning of the word "effeminate" in verse 9?
There are certain words in every language that can be used in a good or bad sense. In the context of this verse the use of "effeminate" is obviously in a bad sense. It is listed among other evils which are condemned. It describes feminine qualities inappropriate to a man. It is normal and natural for a woman to be sexually attracted to a man; it is abnormal and unnatural for a man to be sexually attracted to another man. Many male homosexuals are effeminate, but not all. Nor are all lesbians unduly masculine.

Q8. Are there other Scriptures in the New Testament which deal with homosexuality?
Yes. Romans 1:24-27I Timothy 1:10 and Jude 7. If one takes these Scriptures seriously, homosexuality will be recognized as an evil. The Romans passage is unmistakably clear. Paul attributes the moral depravity of men and women to their rejection of "the truth of God" (1:25). They refused "to retain God in their knowledge" (1:28), thereby dethroning God and deifying themselves. The Old Testament had clearly condemned homosexuality but in Paul's day there were those persons who rejected its teaching. Because of their rejection of God's commands He punished their sin by delivering them over to it.

The philosophy of substituting God's Word with one's own reasoning commenced with Satan. He introduced it at the outset of the human race by suggesting to Eve that she ignore God's orders, assuring her that in so doing she would become like God with the power to discern good and evil (Genesis 3:1-5). That was Satan's big lie. Paul said that when any person rejects God's truth, his mind becomes "reprobate," meaning perverted, void of sound judgment. The perverted mind, having rejected God's truth, is not capable of discerning good and evil.
In Romans 1:26-31 twenty-three punishable sins are listed with homosexuality leading the list. Paul wrote, "For this cause God gave them up into vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompense of their error which was meet" (Romans 1:26, 27). These verses are telling us that homosexuals suffer in their body and personality the inevitable consequences of their wrong doing. Notice that the behaviour of the homosexual is described as a "vile affection" (1:26). The Greek word translated "vile" (atimia) means filthy, dirty, evil, dishonourable. The word "affection" in Greek is pathos, used by the Greeks of either a good or bad desire. Here in the context of Romans it is used in a bad sense. The "vile affection" is a degrading passion, a shameful lust. Both the desire (lusting after) and the act of homosexuality are condemned in the Bible as sin.

Q9. There are those persons who say that homosexuality, even though a perverted form of the normal, God-ordained practice of sex, is a genetic problem, constitutionally inherited. Is there evidence to support this view?
I read in a periodical that in June, 1963 a panel of specialists in medicine, psychiatry, law, sociology and theology participated in a conference on homosexuality called by the Swiss Evangelical Church Union. That group reached the conclusion that homosexuality is not constitutionally inherited, it is not a part of one's genetic makeup. The ill-founded and unverifiable myth that homosexuality results from genetic causes is gradually fading away.

There are possibly a number of different ways in which homosexual practices could begin. When boys and girls reach puberty and the genital organs develop, it is not uncommon for boys to experiment with boys, and girls with girls. In prisons where men and women are denied access to persons of the opposite sex for long periods of time, some are introduced to homosexuality for the first time.

A young Christian woman came to our office in Detroit for counseling. She became involved in lesbianism when her marriage began to fail. She was introduced to her first homosexual experience by a divorcee who was her neighbor. After six months of practicing lesbianism she was convicted of her sin and sought help. We were able to show her from the Bible that she was sinning and that God stood ready and willing to forgive and cleanse her. She confessed and forsook her sin, and continues to this day to live a happy, normal Christian life.

Homosexuality must be accepted for what God says it is-- sin. Some homosexuals will attempt to circumvent the plain teaching of the Bible with the insipid reply that they are the way God made them. There is not the slightest bit of evidence in Scripture to support this false concept. God never created man with a so-called "homosexual need." No baby is born a homosexual. Every baby is born male or female. In every place the Bible refers to homosexuality, the emphasis is upon the perversion of sexuality. The practicing homosexual is guilty of "leaving the natural use of the woman" (Romans 1:27), meaning that his behaviour is "against nature" as in the case of the lesbian (Romans 1:26). Inasmuch as homosexuality is opposed to the regular law and order of nature, the genetic concept must be ruled out completely. If homosexuality were a genetic problem, there would be little hope for the homosexual simply because there is no way that the genes in a person can be changed.

Q10. Are there contributing factors to homosexuality for which a homosexual might not be responsible?
Yes, I believe there are. I have not done much research in this area, however, studies made by others showed varied deviations from the average or normal parent-child relationship. For example, clinical cases show that some homosexuals have not had a normal or natural relationship with the parent of the same sex. In some instances there has been a wide gap between father and son. There are those boys who have been neglected by their unaffectionate fathers. The boy who has not had a good and wholesome relationship with his father could have an unfulfilled need for a father relationship with a man. Now that need will not start out as a sexual one, but there are cases on record in which the sexual relationship has developed. I know one case of a homosexual adult who seduced a 13 year old boy whose father had forsaken him. Before the boy's contact with the older man he had no knowledge whatever of homosexuality. The older man seduced the boy.

Lesbianism has been known to follow this same pattern. Some mother-daughter relationships are not conducive to a normal social and sexual development. One young woman came to her pastor seeking help. She had gotten involved with a lesbian in the community where she lived, a woman twenty-one years her senior. The girl's parents had a defective marriage which ended in divorce when the daughter was ten years old. Her mother became bitter and resentful against all men. She convinced her daughter that men were not to be trusted, and that man's one goal was to exploit women sexually. The daughter grew up with a fear of men, a fear totally unwarranted. She was an easy victim of the seductive older lesbian. The good and wise pastor showed the counselee from the Bible that homosexuality was sinful and that God condemned it. She confessed her sin to God and received Jesus Christ as her Savior and Lord. Today she is happily married to a fine Christian man.


Part 1


Part 3


Part 4


Credits:
This article was written by
Lehman Strauss at www.bible.org

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